"Tough times don't last but tough people do." - A.C. Green

I am such a bad ass!! This morning I ran a half marathon and not just any half, a trail half! I did not train for this race. In fact, I haven't done a long run since my SurfnSanta 10 miler back on December 3rd. My longest run lately has been six miles of hills which, I like to think are equivalent to 8 miles of flat land. Hey, whatever works for you. This race was me, myself and I. Didn't even have my usual supporters. Though my mother was a bit upset because she thought she was coming along to support and cheer me on. Sorry Mom! :-) Thought I was doing them a favor. Considering I hadn't trained for this race, I had no idea if and when I would finish. It's far too cold out to spectate a race. I thought it would take me around 3 hours. It was a hard run just like every other run/race...hard! In the three years I've been running with all the races I've done and at this point that's 25+ and all the training I've done it has never been easy! When will it get easy? LOL! I'm just so proud of myself. To say I was nervous would be an understatement. Standing at that start line and needing to use the bathroom really badly all I could think was, "Why am I doing this. You really like torture don't you Tracey?". I'm not quite sure about my official timing. It was a small race so they're not as quick about putting the time up as the larger race organizers. My Garmin has it at 2.23 but like I said, I don't know how official that is. Overall, it was a pretty good race. Would I run it again? Maybe but, with trail sneakers next time. That gravel, mud and slippery leaves were hazardous. I must've ran with my head down the entire time. I'm such a klutz. I knew the odds of me tripping, falling or stumbling were pretty high. Luckily not until the very end. I had finished the race, got my medal and was on my way to refuel at the celebration tent when whoops...twisted ankle. Never fails. Last time I ran that course running a 10 miler I almost ate it!!! I tripped over a branch and almost did a serious face plant but fortunately I caught myself. Anyway, you ever want to know what you're made of? Well, sign up to run a race you didn't even bother to train for!

The Good:
1. Finished!
2. PR

The Bad:
1. Twisting my ankle on the course gravel

The Ugly:
1. Popping/copping a squat behind a tree 6 minutes into the race(I'm not proud of myself, lol)

Sorry I haven't been blogging more. My life is crazy busy these days! I have a pretty big course load this semester so, between work, school and all my other activities blogging seems to get the short end. I also have to admit I haven't been doing so well losing and KEEPING those dreadful 20lbs off. I'm on a constant roller coaster ride and like running for me this weight loss thing will never be easy. But, in an effort to continue my New Years resolution of not complaining and to not constantly be so hard on myself. I'm going to have to say, I'm doing pretty damn good all things considering. I am still ahead of the curve. Statistically people who lose the amount of weight I did tend to put it all(plus more) back on in the first two years and so far, I haven't even come close to doing that. I am not perfect but I made myself a promise that I will never allow myself to get 100lbs overweight ever again! And, even though I constantly struggle with the dreaded 20 I can say 1. I will never again drink soda for breakfast 2. I will always make time to work-out(even if it means going back to how I started...walking during my lunch break and 3. I will never deprive myself or exclude any food from my life. If I like it, I'm going to enjoy it but, in moderation which, I've been having a hard time doing lately. Hence, the extra 20 pounds. So, just those small things can make such a huge impact with losing weight and maintaining the loss. Okay, that's it for now! I seemed to be trying to make up for all the blogs I've missed!

Happy New Year!

Well, it's a new year and yet, I am still making the same bad choices. I don't usually make new year resolutions because...well, let's just be honest. No one ever sticks to them!! However, this year, I made one. Nope, it's not to finally get these 17 pounds off. Yep, 17 and not 10. If you're paying attention, you'd know that's a 7 pound weight gain(insert sad face here). But, we'll get to that later. Back to my resolution...I have decided to quit complaining, whining, bitching and excuse making! I'll be the first to admit, this will be very difficult for me. I'm a proud Virgo and we're known for our complaining, bitching, moaning and fussiness. Okay, maybe it's not a Virgo thing but a Tracey thing?! Lol! Anyway, I've been running with a woman from my running group and she has the best attitude ever. She never complains when she's having a bad run, she never apologizes for being 'slow' and, she doesn't make excuses. She's running for health and fun. Hmmm, I remember I used to run for those two things. Even though I've told myself a number of times that although it's a race it's not a race to win but a race to FINISH but, deep down inside I was always being hard on myself for not being faster or better or having more stamina. I'm not out there to run against anyone but myself. The only person I'm competing with is the former Tracey and so far, I'm running laps around her. :-)

Today was my first 'long' run since my car accident. Between the accident, briefly being without my car, the holidays and well laziness I hadn't done any runs longer than 4 or 5 miles. Well today, I ran 6 miles and not just any 6 miles. Six miles with 10 big hills! It was tough but I actually was loving it!! Who knew? Dare I say I now love hills? My running partner on the other hand was not loving them. She bailed at mile 5. At one point I felt like I wanted to run 2 more miles but, decided it would be better to ease back into my long runs. It wasn't the 8 miles I really wanted to run but so what, I'm not gonna complain...remember? :-)

I gained 7 pounds over the holidays! Not good! Even though it's roughly 'just' 10-25 pounds

that I've been struggling with since my big 100+ pound weight loss it's still not healthy. Going up 7 pounds down 4 pounds then up 3 pounds down 6 pounds etc...can not be good for me. I know what to do, I know how to get it off yet...I gained 7 pounds! Losing weight and maintaining that weight loss is extremely difficult. I plan to take the next couple weeks trying to get my mind set back to January of 2008 when I first joined Weight Watchers. One of the things I told myself back then is, 'it's not going to happen over night'. I'm starting to lose my patience and eating out of frustrations is a sure way to fail.

The Twelve Days....err Gift Baskets of Christmas

Christmas is usually my favorite time of the year. I wait all year for it! I love the music, the decorations, wrapping gifts(even though I suck at it) and all the gift baskets we receive at the office. Okay, maybe I love the gift baskets a little too much. Fortunately and unfortunately with the recession the baskets have not been arriving quite as often. I will admit, I am one of those people who tend to put on a little weight during the holiday season and, this year is no exception. So far, I've put on a pound. Yes, one whole pound! I'm not following the Weight Watchers plan. Haven't even really thought about it much. My life is sheer stress and hell these days and the thought of measuring, journaling and holding myself accountable for what I put in my mouth takes energy I simply don't have right now, which is utterly ridiculous! Can't even believe I thought that let alone typed it. It's thoughts like these that causes the pounds to creep up...thoughts and actions. Let's see...I need something to celebrate? Oh, I have remained under 200lbs. I will celebrate the small things. Ha!

It's been 5 days since I've worked out or done any running. Five very, very long days! I'm down to the wire with this school semester and every waking moment I'm not at my desk I need to be studying plus, I'm still pretty banged up and sore from my car accident. Luckily for me, I'm too depressed and stressed to overindulge. Wait, did I just type luckily and depressed in the same sentence? I usually overindulge when I'm happy or anxious. Clearly skipping meals because I'm depressed is not the healthiest way to be but, it is what it is. What is healthy is, I plan to venture out on a nice 5 mile run this weekend. Hope all goes well!

With the year coming to a close I counted 8 organized races I ran so far this year(I say so far like I have more planned...I don't!). My goal was to do one race a month. Actually since I set that goal back in September of 2010 I've ran 14 official races which included 4 10 milers and one half marathon!! Yay me! I was so upset about my time at the VA Beach Surf N Santa that I forgot why I do this. I discovered why I 'train' better than I race...it's because when I train it's just me and nothing but time! :-) I saw this quote on a Facebook Group page and instantly loved it, "You are a RUNNER! There is no such thing as slow!". I was really disappointed in my attitude. Instead of celebrating my FINISH and not just any finish, a finish that was my best 10 mile finish ever, I was bitching about nothing. Lesson Learned!

VA Beach SurfnSanta 10 Mile Race & Frosty 5K!!

Unfortunately this race will always be eclipsed by the awful 7 car accident that I was involved in on the way home from the race. We had ran/walked, celebrated, cheered with beer and was heading home when, 30 minutes later we were involved in a pretty bad accident. It was my girls first race and they as well as I was thrilled for them! They even had a finishers medal to prove it! Haha!!

At any rate, I did the 10 miler and was able to set a PR for my 10 mile run. I was not pleased with my time. Yes, even though I set a Personal Record! I was on course to finish my race in 1 hr and about 48, 49 minutes. At 1 hr and 27 minutes I was already well into the 8th mile(lately, my time for 8 miles has been 1.32). Then....cramped legs and toes hit me! It was God awful! My feet and toes normally goes numb at about mile 9 but I've never experience this and I couldn't figure out what was going on with me. I started to feel them going numb at mile 7 which was odd. This guy said to me 'what are you doing? you're motivating me lets go!". Then again at mile 9 when I was just barely making it I stopped to stretch my calves in hopes that they would release the death grip that my toes were in so that I could run across the finish line, when this woman said, "come on, you're motivating me, I am pacing with you and I need you to bring me home!". Wow! I told her you're the second person to tell me that today. I actually felt like a failure because they both finished the race ahead of me and, I was hobbling to the finish. I don't know what it is but I've been told that many times during a race when I would start to struggle..."come on, you're motivating me or come on I'm pacing with you". I figured I must look very confident and strong during my races or, they like looking at my ass. Either way, works for me! :-)

(every time I would straighten them out, they would cramp up again...my sister looked on with both horror and laughter, lol)

In the end, I finished strong sprinting across the finish line! It took me 1 hour and 53 minutes. I'm literally shaking my head in frustration just thinking about it! I actually wanted to cry and not from the obvious pain I was in but because I was feeling sorry for myself. Thinking why does this always happen to me?! Who knew that a little over an hour later I would really have something to cry about? The trip home from hell! That car accident really put things in perspective. I was laying in the back asleep without my seat belt and anybody that knows me knows that I don't play around when it comes to safety. I don't care how old you are or where you sit in my car a seat belt is mandatory. In fact, I constantly get teased about my strict ways! It was scary thinking my sister and bff were crushed then scary when I remembered I wasn't buckled-up. Thank goodness we all were okay. Including the passengers and drivers of the other 6 vehicles! That 1 hours and 53 minute time finish seemed like heaven compared to that! Today I am really sore, have a really bad headache and have a car that may or may not be totaled 200 miles away! But, I got the coolest medal ever! A medal that goes from a medal to a key chain to a bottle opener and not just any bottle...beer! Which I could use lots of after the trip I had!

The Good:
1. I finished the race with a 10 mile PR (personal record)
2. My sister and bff walked their first 5k...so damn proud of those ladies!

3. Great post race celebration that included great stew, a great band and beer and plenty of funny costumes to laugh at!

The Bad:
1. Numb, cramped, deformed toes and legs for the last 2 miles
2. Feeling like I let myself down

The Ugly:
1. Car ride home from hell!
2. Very briefly feeling like my toes would be deformed for life(dramatic much?)
3. Being told by the ER doctor that I have a heart murmur (all I could think was, what does this mean for my running). I'm always thinking like a runner!

"The three qualities necessary for training. Great faith. Great doubt. Great effort" ~Anonymous.

Sometimes, I don't know how I do it? When I first started my run this morning, I didn't think I could finish a mile but, I pushed through and finished 10 instead! I do not exaggerate when I say I didn't think I would finish 1 mile. It was a major struggle. I don't know what was going on with me but I was extremely exhausted. I think it was about half a mile in when I thought I'd throw in the towel and try again tomorrow. Running is hard but, quitting is harder! The Good came when I got past the half point mark (mile 5) and I knew I could and would make it to 10. Also, I like having my long run out of the way so that I can enjoy the rest of my weekend and by 'enjoy' I mean studying algebra. The Bad came fairly early into my run when I wanted to quit at mile .52. I couldn't get my breathing steady and it felt like I was lugging dead weight. It could be all the crap I ate while hanging out with my family the day after Thanksgiving. I did so well Thanksgiving by not overindulging AND journaling but somehow I more than made up for it the day after. So much so that the scale was up a pound or tw0 (sigh). The Ugly was definitely the moment when I felt so tired, so exhausted so over my run that it seemed as if I wasn't even moving and trust me I was! I literally felt like I was running in place.

I am definitely getting 'faster'. I'm never going to run 4, 5 or even 8 minute miles but, I am getting back to my 10 minute pace. When I first started running I was faster. I believe carrying the extra weight has affected my speed ( I use the word speed lightly, lol). Today's fastest mile was mile 2 (again) which, I ran at 10.29 and my slowest mile was mile 10, ran at 11.37. In fact mile 10 was the only mile that I ran over a 10 minute pace. The fact that I even made it to mile 10 is cause for celebration. I don't care if I ran it at a 15 minute pace actually, it kind of felt like I did. :-)

It's days like today that shows me what I'm made of. I went from wanting to give up at half a mile in to finding the strength and determination to finish strong 9.5 miles later. This is why I love running!

2011 Thanksgiving Turkey Trot!

This is my third year running a 5k Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving. They're sort of my tradition now. The Turkey Trot is a special race for me because it was to be my very first 'official' race two years ago. When I first started running I decided to pick a graduation race and had registered for a Turkey Trot in June of that year. Telling myself that six months was enough time to prepare myself to 'race'. Who knew that I would end up running three 5k's before that first Turkey Trot ever took place? Let's just say I am now hooked! Overall it was a great race! Though those hills were a killer! I remembered them from last year and I was not looking forward to them at all(have I mentioned, I don't like hills?). This year though, I figured I was in perfect shape to tackle the hills and finish the race strong. At this point in my runs there are NO walk breaks before three miles and if it's only 3 miles(5K)no walk breaks...period! Cut to the last hill and a walk break was definitely in order. Although it was a very brief break to recover from the hill, it was a break nonetheless. I finished the race in 32.41. I looked up my time from last year and surprise, surprise I finished the 2010 Turkey Trot in 32.41. Figured if I hadn't taken that walk break, I could've finished in 32.00. Lol!! Great race, lots of fun and I like starting Thanksgiving day off in the negative, calorie wise.

I did not overindulge this year. I didn't have seconds nor did I take leftovers. I actually decided today was the day to start journaling and tracking my food intake. I figured if I can get through today keeping track then, I can get through the rest of this holiday season. I'm going to try my hardest not to take all 10 of these pounds into the new year!!!

I hope you guys had a wonderful Thanksgiving!! I'm now off to bed. I have an early morning spin class.

The Good:
1. Negative Calories before Thanksgiving feast

The Bad:
1. Needing a walk break during a 5k race

The Ugly:
1. I hate hills!

Some Trot for Hunger 2009, 1st race I ever registered to run

crossing the finish line at today's Turkey Trot, I am smoking that woman with the stroller! :-)